Sleep and Relationships: An Inside Look – FreeHealthCommunity.com
On the good side of things, my family has always been
committed to good sleep hygiene because we know how important sleep is for good
health. We are so committed, in fact, that we have allowed a very easygoing
attitude toward the logistics of our sleeping habits (i.e., who sleeps where).
On the bad side of things, our house was like a cross between musical beds and “Goldilocks
and the Three Bears.”
Sleep and Couples, For Better or Worse
This all started when I was an intern. My daughter was 6 six months old at the time,
and not the best sleeper as an infant.
My husband, a fellow physician, was also used to being “on-call” and
being awakened during the night.
He was also a realist who knew he needed sleep. And despite
an infant and a beeper that often went off at all hours, he was determined to
get it. Answer: He brought our daughter into the bed with him when I was
working nights, and she would cry at 2 a.m.
The result was that both daddy and baby slept like
logs. My daughter became quite
accustomed to sleeping with one or both parents and this habit took years to
break.
The next problem in our increasingly dysfunctional sleep
situation came when we got two dogs. We are a dog-loving family and so were
used to having pets in the bedroom. At first, there were no issues. But as the
dogs got bigger, so did their nocturnal noises: dreaming, scratching, licking,
breathing and barking. All this woke me up at the drop of a dime.
5 Health Hazards Linked to Lack of Sleep
Finally, the snoring kicked in. My husband began to snore.
While his snoring did not stem from something medically serious such as sleep
apnea, it certainly had a serious effect on me. I awoke multiple times a night.
And, like many women (and men, too), once I was up, I found it very difficult
to fall back to sleep. What was happening here?
For most of my life, I have always been a good sleeper. I
fall asleep within seconds of closing my eyes, and usually have no trouble
waking up at or before my alarm the next morning.
Then, I became a mother.
Suddenly, I felt as if I were sleeping with eyes wide shut, so to
speak. I could swear that I heard a cry
or call from my children in milliseconds.
In speaking to other mothers, this is commonly accepted fact.
Next, I became an obstetrician. For nine years, I woke up at all hours of the
night to deliver babies. I was trained
and conditioned to be able to think clearly and perform surgically immediately
after awakening.
So when I started having sleep problems at home, I was
perplexed. Rather than really think
about what was causing the problem, I, too (like my husband had done a decade
prior), took the path of least resistance and just slinked off to a different
room to get my precious sleep.
The good news is that I did, indeed, get a good night’s
sleep in another room. Incredibly good, actually!
But the bad news is that I missed sharing a sleep-cave with
my husband. I felt embarrassed that this dysfunctional sleeping situation had
infiltrated our family, and worried about how people would judge our habits.
But I was determined to get good sleep no matter what, because I had sacrificed
sleep for so many years taking care of my own babies, and delivering the babies
of others.
The ABC News sleep experiment we did taught me a completely
new way of approaching our sleep problems and habits. We made substantive
changes in our bedroom environment based on the recommendations of our sleep
expert, Dr. Wendy Troxel of the Sleep Medicine Institute at the University of
Pittsburgh.
We got a king-size bed (we had been sleeping in the same
queen-size bed since we got married 17 years ago) and put blackout shades on
the windows (we never sleep late, so we never had any shades or drapes on our
windows because we never needed them for privacy in the suburbs).
We taught our dogs to sleep with our teenage son (who loves
having them in his room and isn’t disturbed by their sounds) and, best of all,
my husband trained himself to sleep on his side (a position in which he does
not snore).
The data from our sleep study showed that my husband slept
better with me by his side, and that I slept almost as well next to him, as I
did alone. I had misjudged the entire
situation.
For some people, however, insomnia and snoring can indicate
serious medical problems like sleep apnea, depression, medication side effects
or other physical issues. If your poor
night’s sleep is leaving you moody, distracted or drowsy at work or behind the
wheel, seek proper medical evaluation.
Other important tips for good sleep hygiene include: setting
a consistent sleep-waking schedule and sticking to it; avoiding caffeine or
alcohol; “unplugging” from smartphones, laptops and the TV at least 30 minutes
before bedtime; and making sure your mattress is comfortable and the
temperature in your room is right for you. I recommend 65-67 degrees).
Sleep is important for your health, and can also affect your
relationship, whether you sleep together as a couple, or apart.
Website: http://www.FreeHealthCommunity.com
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